Shades of Swirling Hope
by songstobesung
Summary: If I am courage, then you are hope. "See the father bent in grief..."
1. Chapter 1

**Auhtors: ****Madi (_songstobesung) _and Brenna _(Mrs. Cedric Cullen)_**

**Title: Shades of Swirling Hope**

**Summary: If I am courage, then you are hope. "_I know this world can have a place for us..." _-Best Kept Secret from Bare**

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"You did this wrong again Kurt." Blaine throws down Kurt's English paper, showing him the mistakes which were highlighted in green, Blaine's favorite color. Kurt simply stuck his tongue out, his blue, green, gray eyes stormy and unbalanced. Blaine looked at him, because it wasn't a cute, flirty little kid tongue out thing, but more of an 'I'm pissy, leave me alone because I say I don't wanna talk about it but I secretly do' kinda sticking tongue out. Blaine felt himself getting slightly irritated, and he really didn't mean to say it, but he did. When the words left his mouth, a bile taste was inserted, as if to punish Blaine for what he had done.

"Kurt, seriously, are you PMSing?" A dark look crossed Kurt's normally impish features. The thought of being told he was on a cycle that his body couldn't do pissed Kurt more than it normally would.

"Blaine Anderson, just because I am gay does not make me any less of a man! I thought you learned that after last night!" And by that, he didn't mean sexy, wanky fun as Santana Lopez dubbed it. It meant that Kurt ate a whole bag of Cheetos, one liter of Pepsi, and beaten all the guys in the Sophomore/Junior wing at Halo 2. Blaine could feel the anger surging through him, and he cursed inwardly at himself.

"Well, you seem more pissy than usual." Kurt's eyes widened at this statement. Did his boyfriend really just say that? He better not have. "Maybe I'm just a little fucking stressed, okay!" Kurt smacked the bed, feeling angry and bitter at Blaine, because there was no one else to feel angry and bitter too but him. He just needed a good fight, and then he'd be okay.

Blaine's tone of voice became soft, and comforting, like the waves crashing on a shore. "About what baby?" Kurt fell back onto the bed, sighing, "Don't worry about it, Blaine. It's not you, I promise." Blaine flopped onto his own bed, following Kurt's way of lying down, facing him. "Baby, tell me." Kurt ran a hand through his hair, well almost, but since It was nicely styled, he forced himself not to.

"I don't even know." Blaine detected a lie.

"Is it..Karofsky?" That word left an eerie silence, as if saying his name would make him appear. Karofsky, was like Voldemort in a sense. He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named.

Kurt bit his lip, "N-no, nothing about him," A nervous laugh escaped his lips, his sweet blue eyes turning dark and stormy with every breath, every syllable, "Why would it? Ya know, be about him?"

Blaine got up, and standing there, he felt himself nearly trembling. Kurt saw a scared look run through his face, that charismatic face of his. When Blaine spoke, his voice wavered, "Kurt, you are _never_ like this. Tell me. Now." His boyfriend made a motion that Kurt had never seen. It was a step, with that step came a force that had never once been there. It was as if Blaine was starting to appear in front of him.

"Blaine? You're kinda starting to scare me…." Kurt got up from his bed, distancing himself. When the wall came in contact, Kurt leaned against it, staring at his trembling boyfriend.

Blaine's anger got a hold of him. He felt his voice rising, his chest shaking with fear. His breath was hard, and fierce. "Kurt, I want to listen. I want to be about to help. Please…" Blaine felt his blood rising, pulsing like a wild drum beat. He shook his head, trying to get a grip again. They pissed him off, Kurt didn't. He didn't want his voice to rise at Kurt, angrily. When he stopped, he turned to his boyfriend, watching his eyes panicking. "Sorry about that Kurt."

Kurt walked away from the wall, in awe of this new side of his boyfriend. Blaine was angry, still, just like him. It was amazing to see him not be cool, and collected. But, with this new territory, Kurt didn't want to push Blaine too far. "Blaine, it's…okay. It's okay."

Blaine trembled, sitting down. He put his head in his lap, trying to not see red that was clouding his vision. He wasn't mad at Kurt Hummel. "No, it's not okay." Kurt responded with a sigh. Blaine couldn't get the words out, like his tongue was tripping over them. "I didn't mean to. I'm sorry Kurt, I'm so sorry." Kurt laid his head against the textured wall, letting these entire emotions surge through his head. A vibrant shade of red rested clearly in his mind, though, more so than the peaceful purple that was attempting to block it out.

Blaine looked over, watching these emotions flood through Kurt, his whole body slightly shaking at the coming of each new one. He took a single look at Kurt, before looking down. His hands were holding one another, and he twiddled with his thumbs, nervously.

"If you tell me your story," There was the implied 'as much as I already don't know', "I'll tell you mine." The words shook Blaine to his core, and there was a warmth in his chest, one that he hadn't felt before. It was an opening to tell Kurt something he hadn't dared tell anyone in, well, since he had openly come out to Dalton. He closed his eyes, his hands trembling ever so slightly. Even without looking at Kurt, he could tell what his boyfriends look was by the sound of his hesitant voice.

"You won't understand," Kurt whispered, almost inaudibly, "I don't understand."

The near hurt in his voice brought tears to Blaine, and an old emotion he hadn't felt in a long time overcame his senses, but Blaine didn't dare think the feeling. Names hurt more than actions, sometimes. Naming something gives a power, a power so unbreakable. Blaine responded, trying to keep his voice even, and controlled no matter how knotted his insides were, "I understand more than you think."

The authority in his voice made Kurt jump- Blaine felt him flinch ever so slightly. It came out all wrong. Instead of it being understanding and compassionate, it came out mean, and harsh. Blaine got up, trying to distance himself from the counter-tenor, before he could lash out as he did before. A gentleman never lashed out, not even in the hardest of situations.

"Not this time." Kurt whispered, letting a tear fall down his cheek. The way his voice quivered with fright, like something was eating him whole. Blaine finally spoke, not thinking about the words he said. When a name popped out, one he hadn't meant to say, Blaine felt his knees go weak, and he had to almost steady himself.

"His name was Drew." The sound of his name echoing through the silent room made Blaine nearly gasp. He felt his whole world being tossed around. Names are very powerful, he knew it all too well, names can bring back ghosts, bring back memories that never seem to go away.

Kurt breathed, "W-what?" Blaine knew he didn't understand, just as Kurt suspected that Blaine hadn't understood the pain that was swallowing him, the secrets that were burdened on his shoulder.

"He told them." Blaine gasped, his knees buckling. His lungs weren't working, and Blaine forced himself to breathe. It hadn't happen in two years, but a feeling had swept over him, letting everything he had held in for so long, be shown all over that charismatic face of his. Blaine closed his eyes, hearing the footsteps of his love. Arms were put around him, and Blaine did nothing to stop the feeling of warmth spread through him. He found himself on a bed, and when he opened his eyes, he saw Kurt's eyes, now a translucent blue, brimming with tears. Blaine felt like he had caused the pain, and as if he was hurting Kurt. When Kurt spoke, it was trembling, holding back tears that Blaine didn't want to be there in the first place. If he hadn't spoken up, if he hadn't wanted to say anything, Kurt wouldn't be in pain. He wouldn't feel this way.

"Who told?" Confusion swam through the sweet voice. Blaine pushed away Kurt, before tightening his hands into fists. He felt adrenaline rush through his body, as if sensing danger. But, the tears in Blaine's eyes made it look as if he was panicking. As much as Blaine despised to admit it, he was panicking.

"He…he…" Blaine sniffled, trying to hold back the tears that were about to flow freely down his face, which was contorted into something that had no words, not a single one. Even on his gorgeous features, the look itself was ugly, "He told my parents." Blaine looked up, blinking back tears. Kurt was crying now, silently, but he managed to speak.

"About you being g-gay?" Blaine knew Kurt couldn't believe it. He knew that Kurt never had this problem. Blaine was not defined by his sexuality. Blaine was defined by his cowardliness about it. Sure, he embraced his sexuality, when need be. But, he also was a guy. Kurt was a guy, Blaine knew that, but it just wasn't the same, no matter how stereotypical that sounded.

"I haven't told them," Blaine explained, his words rushing together. They came out jagged, like I hurt his throat to speak them, "I've been here for _two_ years, and they think I'm straight! The look in their eyes wasn't concern or fear…" The look was disappointment. Blaine saw their hazel eyes flash before him, and he shook, violently. Smooth arms wrapped around them, and Blaine breathed in the soft scent that was Kurt Hummel. It calmed him down, and his hands were trembling by that moment.

"Blaine, I…" His voice trailed off, as sobs shook the lean brunette, "I don't…" Blaine wrapped his arms around the shaking boy, whose skin was now blotchy and red. It didn't matter though, Blaine thought, as he was still beautiful. "Shh…it's okay. Shh…" Blaine felt more comfortable, comforting someone else, other than his own soul that needed a shoulder to cry on. Kurt kept on crying, and Blaine looked at him. The sobs were nearing hysterical at this point.

"Kurt, what's wrong?" Kurt continued on crying, but it was going down a softer route now. Blaine kissed his forehead, and Kurt shot out of his arms. Incredibly confused, Blaine looked over at the counter-tenor, and saw the panicked look on his face. Blaine finally got it, as Kurt's voice shook, "Blaine…I…"

Kurt took off the Armani scarf, showing a small hickey resting on the side of his neck. Blaine looked over, and saw Kurt's frightened face. Anger pulsed through Blaine's veins, as he asked whose it was.

"His?"

Kurt only nodded at this statement.

"Yesterday," Kurt took a shaky breath before continuing, "When I went to Lima to visit ND. I-I never made it to Mercedes's place." Kurt's breath hitched, and Blaine was already there, rubbing his arms. His comforting tone of voice didn't reassure Kurt at all.

All Kurt heard was the part about Blaine going to kill him. Yes, Blaine was overprotective, but he could be very sneaky. Blaine had unleashed a new side of himself, an angry one, and Kurt didn't want Blaine to go and kill someone, no matter how much he deserved to die. Or, be seriously maimed.

"DON'T!" Kurt's voice was shrill when he screamed this. Blaine winced, as did Kurt at the sound. Softer, Kurt amended, "It was nothing."

"No, it wasn't nothing Kurt!" Blaine said, loudly. His fist connected to the bed, and Kurt begged him to stop. This scared both him and Blaine tremendously. Kurt loved this new side, but also longed for the easy side too. Blaine's eyes had a blank look, for half a second, before turning back into his normal gaze, one that made Kurt's heart flutter.

"You need to tell your Dad." There was a hidden message under Blaine's words, which Kurt didn't quite understand just yet. Closing his eyes, stressed washed over him.

"He'll never be able to handle it!" Kurt exclaimed, exasperated. Blaine made a face, and Kurt added, softly, "I don't know how too."

"I don't know either. Say it loud. Loud, and make sure everyone hears it!" Courage rang through those words, and Kurt giggled, wiping away the tears. They embraced one another, breathing in softly. Kurt grinned, and Blaine had a lazy half smile on his face. Quietly, Kurt looked at Blaine, "Don't ever leave me."

"I won't. And you changed the subject."Blaine noted, his voice becoming normal again. He was grinning, and Kurt laughed at the adorable smirk on his strong face.

"Don't I always?" Kurt laughed, "I have a reputation to uphold." Blaine kissed Kurt on the cheeks, before taking Kurt's hand into his. They moth noticed how clammy Blaine's palms were, and Blaine laughed, just a little trill, before clearing his throat.

"Now, this is going to be a little serious. But, after the last hour, I highly doubt we need that."

"Just tell me know, and then I'll hate you later." Kurt grinned, impishly.

"How'd you come out to your Dad?" The question took Kurt by surprise. With a hint of wonder in his eyes, Kurt looked at his boyfriend, who had helped him so much. The roles had quickly become reversed, but Kurt took on the load, knowing Blaine would take some off his shoulders, whenever he asked. It was weird, giving advice on how to come out. However, it was amazing sharing an experience with someone who needed the information to help Blaine to cross a bridge he hadn't dared to cross till now.

"Dad always just... knew, apparently. But after my first football game, I just... told him." Blaine's eyes widened, but Kurt suspected it wouldn't be as effortless for the dapper boy as it was for him.

"It seems, easy."

"Everyone sort of knew, just like my dad though." Kurt grinned, resting his head on the boy who desperately wanted to come out. Kurt didn't know Blaine was gay till, well, he said it. Kurt was thrilled when he was seeing as how mutual the feelings between them were. Blaine's chest rumbled as he spoke.

"You live by the rule: If you got it, flaunt it." Kurt giggled at the statement, seeing as how accurate it is. Nodding, Kurt looked up at Blaine, who looked a little more serious.

"Now, do I flaunt or hide?"

"Easy," Kurt felt some sadness hinting in the words, "You hide." A heartbreaking sort of smile crept on his face, but Blaine didn't notice. His gaze overlooked Kurt, and something flashed in his eyes.

"Will you be there when I tell my parents?" Kurt nodded, a true smile forming on his pale pink lips.

"Of course I will." Blaine looked at him, and Kurt could see how nervous it made him.

"I don't need Kurt, my boyfriend. But I need Kurt, my best friend in the whole wide world, in two days. Okay?" Kurt nodded, saluting Blaine.

"Kurt, the best "best friend" in the world, will be there. Kurt, "the boyfriend", won't, I promise." Blaine kissed him on the cheek at this response. Kurt cupped Blaine face in his pale hands. Blaine put a hand over Kurt's, letting something new float over them.

"We'll get through this together." Kurt stated.

"I know we will." Blaine said. They didn't move and inch, but looked into each other's eyes, a sort of promise being formed, without any words being spoken.

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**Hello lovely readers! Madi, and my lovely friend Brenna here, to give you a new fic! This took up 15+ hours to just do dialouge, and now we are currently filling in the words between said dialouge. This is both our times writing a very, very dark Klaine. Brenna and I both agreed Blaine was a little reserved, and we came to the conclusion Blaine hadn't come out to his parents. Hence, the lovely story that is 'Shades of Swirling Hope'.**

**I hope you all enjoy reading this as much as Brenna and I enjoy writing it! The next chapter will feature a cute little Klaine loving. And then, dramam will strike, because it will. This is also an established ND/Blaine meeting story, as well as A Blaine/Burt/Finn/Kurt/Carole estamblished knowing. **

**For the sake of this story, Blaine's a senior (17) and Kurt's a junior (16 and 3/4). So, Blaine's known since he was 10. **

**Thanks for reading and please leave a review:) We enjoy them immensly and will give cookies and miniature snowmen to those who do leave reviews! Because there is snow to give to those who review! **

**Thanks for reading!**

**-Madi and Brenna **

**Note: There could be possible warnings in later chapters. Just to warn you. If you have any concerns, leave it in a review, or PM Brenna or me. We want the story to be enjoyable to all readers. **


	2. Chapter 2

******Auhtors: ****Madi (_songstobesung) _and Brenna _(Mrs. Cedric Cullen)_**

**Title: Shades of Swirling Hope**

**Summary: If I am courage, then you are hope. _"I know we still got each other, but I'm in distress." - _Jealousy by Darren Criss (Human)**

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Blaine was singing Katy Perry two days straight. Only thing he could sing. Whenever Kurt tried to get him to stop singing, Blaine only shook his head, saying it was his was of trying to relax. Kurt found shopping, watching movies, and eating chocolate relaxing, but Blaine's only way to stay calm was apparently singing Katy Perry. He didn't argue with the way Blaine was relieving stress, since he was getting rid of all the tension in him. It didn't help that the only Katy Perry song Kurt could stand was 'Teenage Dream', abd Blaine never sung that. Oh well. Two days had past, and now the time came for Blaine to tell his father.

An hour before they were supposed to go to northern Westerville, Ohio, Kurt looked over at his curly haired boyfriend, who was shaking. As he tried to put gel in his, otherwise, coiled dark hair, it splattered everywhere. Blaine forced his eyes to close, fast, but that didn't stop the shaking hands. Kurt walked over, cupping Blaine's hands. Not saying a word, Kurt dipped a hand into the gel, easily gelling back those dark twists of hair that framed Blaine's face. He kept some out, giving a sweet, gentle look. Innocence was key to this age, of coming out. Kurt felt Blaine trembling underneath him, but he didn't say a word. Thirty minutes later, Blaine was styled, as was Kurt.

Blaine wore a simple button up shirt, with nice jeans and his best shoes. Kurt wore a purple button up, a black skinny tie which matched his fedora, skinny jeans and nice shoes. Blaine grinned, seeing as Kurt just looked stylish. He looked like Kurt. Without somewhat of his flamboyancy, but Blaine warned Kurt about his father.

"Blaine, can you walk?" Blaine didn't realize his eye were still blocking out the light that flooded their room. Opening them, Blaine nodded, but his shaky hands noted otherwise. Kurt took Blaine's hands into his own. He kissed each finger, slowly, trying to calm down the boy. Kurt was sending Blaine all the love he had to offer, in those small ten kisses. Blaine became even more unstable, his breathing uneven and not in the good way.

Kurt looked in Blaine's eyes, before informing him that no way on God's green Earth that Blaine was driving.

"I'll do it Blaine. Just calm down." Blaine nodded, trying to maintain a steady breathing rate. As they walked to the car, Kurt noticed how he was gasping, but his chest rose and fell, therefore he was breathing. Blaine let Kurt strap him in, as all he could manage to do was close his eyes, and clench his hands into tight fists. The directions were pretty straight forward for the first fifteen minutes of so. Blaine slowly opened his sparkling eyes, now dull, taking in his surroundings. What he didn't notice was how his breathing stopped all together.

Kurt places his hand over Blaine's, tracing invisible circles into the tan skin. Blaine winced at the touch, seeing as it was unexpected, but he kind of liked it. Blaine heard Kurt's voice, but he really didn't listen.

"Blaine, it's okay. Just keep breathing." Blaine felt himself take a deep breath, inhaling the scent of his small car, as well as his cologne (Old Spice) and sweet scent of Kurt, that couldn't be described. He told Kurt to make a right here, before continuing, making a point to breathe whenever he could.

"I didn't know I wasn't breathing." Blaine said, a blush creeping up his somewhat paler face. Kurt patted his hand, making a right turn before continuing down a road filled with many twists and turns. Kurt looked over at his boyfriend, who looked out the windows, taking in a scene that must have been familiar. They passed a fairly small school, and Kurt noticed Blaine wincing, as if just looking at the school made him want to die. The sign read 'Westerville School For the Gifted'.

"Well, after you were practically panting for most of the way, I could pretty easily tell when you stopped." Kurt told him, taking a left as Blaine instructed with his hands. They were driving down a road filled with huge houses, nearly mansions, but not McMansions that looked all the same. Blaine told Kurt his house's number, and they were about to pull up to it. Blaine closed his eyes, placing his head in his hands.

"I lied. I don't want to go. Take me home." Blaine's voice was muffled through his hands. Kurt placed a hand on Blaine's neck, rubbing it softly, trying to calm him down. But, he didn't offer many encouraging words.

"Twenty miles ago, I would have turned around. Come on." Kurt opened his door, before unbuckling his seat belt. Blaine remained in the same position, his back showing how unsteadily he was breathing. Kurt walked out, opening Blaine's passenger door. He was sure he heard Blaine say, "No, I can't."

In a strong voice, Kurt exclaimed, "Yes you can." But, in a gentler voice, he amended, "I'm right here Blaine. I got your back." Kurt reached over, pushing the button to get Blaine out of his seatbelt. Blaine moved, slowly, but Kurt could see him trembling.

"I feel like I'm going to puke. I can't, Kurt. Ever since I met your family and New Directions, I've wished I was as lucky as you are." Kurt could see the pain swallowing Blaine whole. He kissed Blaine, softly on the lips. Blaine didn't kiss him back, only letting Kurt kiss him tenderly. "You are one of the strongest people I know Blaine. You have to do this, and I'm gonna be right next to you." Blaine finally smiled, looking at Kurt. Kurt rested his arms on Blaine's shoulders, making him seem taller than he was.

"Courage." Blaine muttered to himself, eyeing Kurt, seeing as Kurt was wearing his sweet, sexy look. Laughing, Blaine mussed Kurt's hair, to which Kurt gave him the evil eye.

"Okay, time to not be my boyfriend, Kurt. Time to be my best friend, okay?" Kurt's evil eye turned into a small grin. Blaine went to get their three bags, before walking to the grand house. It looked open and warm, but Blaine always knew it as something else. Cold, and fake.

Kurt took one of his bags, before letting his hands fall into Blaine's, squeezing it a bit before having to let it go. "As always." Kurt nodded. He watched Blaine in awe, as he saw him mutter the word that got Kurt through those few weeks at McKinley before transferring to Dalton: Courage.

Then he heard Blaine say, with a hint of mocking laughter in it.

"I have none."

Kurt put a hand on his hip, cocking it out a bit. Blaine knocked the door, looking at the huge oak door expectedly, as if waiting for a monster to come out of there.

"Not true." Kurt murmured, "You _are _courage, Blaine." He quickly shut up as the door opened. Kurt's eyes looked upon an older man who looked exactly like Blaine, down to the unruly curly hair, kept at a shorter length. He was much taller than Blaine though, but other than that Kurt knew that Blaine got his dashing good looks from his father. Even though Blaine was his own son, Mr. Anderson acted a if he was a guest.

"Blaine Michael! Welcome!" Mr. Anderson took his son's hand, and shook it. His hazel eyes turned to Kurt, "And this must be Kurt Hummel! Come in." He opened the wide door so that they both could come in, and set down their stuff. Kurt looked the impressive décor, and color schemes. He knew that Blaine came from wealth, but he never excepted it to be like this. This was, just, wow.

"Thanks Dad." Blaine stuttered, putting on a fake grin. Even though Kurt knew it was fake, Mr. Anderson sure didn't.

"Breathe, Blaine, breathe." Kurt whispered to Blaine, who took a small breath of air.

"I am," Whispered Blaine, right back. Kurt rolled his eyes at his stubborn boyfriend, but didn't say anything. In a louder voice, Blaine asked his dad about showing Kurt his room. Mr. Anderson laughed, before turning to Kurt.

"Blaine's just ever the gentleman!" Blaine did a fake laugh at that, clearly embarrassed by the label he had been given. Kurt knew Blaine wasn't a gentleman; He was just Blaine. With gentleman like qualities to his stunning personality.

"Y-yeah Dad, that's me." Blaine grinned, a little more, "C'mon Kurt." Blaine grabbed all three bags, motioning Kurt to follow him. Kurt came, his footsteps clicking on the hardwood floor. Kurt's room was exquisite, but the nervous look on Blaine sweet face made Kurt not even glance at the impressive room. Blaine's face was pale, as he pointed out the door that adjoined the two rooms.

Kurt watched him set down the bags, before approaching him. He had seen Blaine with his color drained from his face, but never this pale. It worried his greatly. Kurt placed a hand on Blaine's cool face.

"Blaine, you're pale." He said. Blaine touched his abnormally cool forehead, before paling even more, "Are you okay?" Kurt asked, wanting to just to hug him and tell him everything is okay.

"No. I can't do this. Kurt, I just can't!" Blaine shook his head, curls falling out of their places. Kurt shushed him, before kissing him, a peck on the lips. Kurt thumbed out the loose curls, before looking Blaine straight in the eye.

"You can do it, I know you can." Kurt protested. Blaine placed a finger on Kurt's lips.

"Best friend Kurt. Please be him." Blaine nodded. Kurt swallowed the lump in his throat, but nodded anyways.

"When do I say it? Mom's out of town and Dad just scares me." Blaine asked, softly. Kurt took his hand, rubbing invisible circles, trying to calm down Blaine.

"Take things one at a time. Go back downstairs; catch up with your Dad. When time is right, you'll know." Kurt told him. Blaine nodded. Mr. Anderson called the kids down for dinner. Kurt looked over at Blaine, his face grinning.

"Game time." He said. Blaine grinned back, and Kurt could see how much more comfortable he was becoming.

"Coming Dad!" Blaine called downstairs to his father, before turning to Kurt, "Thanks Kurt. I really love you, rainbows and all. Also, all the show tunes you sing in the shower. I think those are sexy." Blaine waggled his eyebrows, and Kurt laughed, out loud. The sound alone filled Blaine with warmth.

"And I love you, even with your strange Katy Perry obsession." Kurt hip bumped Blaine. Blaine rolled his eyes, but laughed at his adorable boy.

"She is a goddess. Like Patti LuPone." Blaine walked out the door, running to the dining room before Kurt could smack him for such a comparison to two totally different people.

"Yeah," Kurt followed him, a sarcastic tone to his voice, "You keep telling yourself that."

* * *

**Hello most amazing readers! Brenna and I are here with another chapter on SOSH! This is one filled with some cute little Klaineness. Klaine makes the world go round and round with love, and we all know it. Thanks for alerting, reviewing, and putting this on your favorite stories list. Seriously, it means a so much to us! This chapter has to be one of the fluffiest chapters in the whole story, so far. Right now, Brenna and I are texting one another with more and more dialouge. It's been about 20+ hours at this point! I have a feeling this story will never end. Even when we are old, it will keep on going. **

**Also, a little thing I like to call find Madi: you all can find my at singforevermore (dot) tumblr (dot) com. With Brenna's permission (looks at Brenna with big puppy god eyes) I'll put up spoilers, back stories and answer any and all questions you may have for us. You can also find many ramblings, and all that jazz there too.**

**Also, showtunes. **

**If you all have any time, leave a review. We appreciate, read everyone of them, and fangirl over them too. They make our days more than words do describe. For reals. **

**Thanks for reading and (hopefully) enjoying this story!**

**-Madi and Brenna**

**Note: Next chapter is much darker, and hurtful. *gets teddy bear to calm down***


	3. Chapter 3

**Authors: Madi _(songstobesung_) and Brenna _(Mrs. Cedric Cullen)_**

**Summary: If I am courage, then you are hope. _"See the father bent in grief..."_ Whispering from Spring Awakening. **

* * *

Kurt put in Rent, walking over to Blaine. They both agreed that there are gay people in it, so the conversation should come up easily. Blaine sat down on the couch, in between his father and Kurt. Every time Angel or Collins came on screen, Blaine gulped. And when Maureen and JoAnne were mentioned, his breath hitched a little. Mr. Anderson took a sip of his after dinner coffee, before watching Angel's performance 'Today 4 U'. As the movie continued on, Blaine's face grew tighter and paler. Angel was wearing an outfit that made Mr. Anderson cringe.

"That Angel kid shouldn't be embarrassing himself. I can't believe he chose to be gay." Mr. Anderson commented, taking another sip of his now somewhat cold coffee. Blaine's face grew paler with every word. Kurt nonchalantly squeezed his hand, looking at Blaine with concern. He turned his attention to Mr. Anderson, before retorting, but keeping a calm tone of voice.

"I don't really have a problem with him. Do you Blaine?" Kurt knew that Angel was Blaine's favorite character, and he wouldn't do or say anything that made Angel look like a horrible person. Blaine paled, slightly, but his father didn't notice. He managed to squeak out an answer, "He's cool. I think Collins is cool to. So are Maureen and Joanne." Kurt nods, grinning at Blaine's answer. They are cool, Blaine thinks, and it's because of their personalities. Not because of their sexuality, but because they each had a heart of gold.

Mr. Anderson shook his head, disagreeing with the two teenage boys. His voice carried over some authority as he spoke, "Yes, but the characters themselves are disgraceful, and they shouldn't be showing a young audience homosexual relations." Blaine felt his mouth moving, before he could think about what he was saying.

"God makes no mistakes." He said, his hands trembling a little. His face bloomed with some more color- mostly the blush forming on his cheeks. He couldn't believe he just spoke to his father with something like that. Blaine looked over, seeing a flint of anger in his dad's eyes, but Mr. Anderson did nothing about the fury surging through him. Blaine knew the rules: Never talk back to an adult.

Kurt nodded, agreeing with Blaine once more. "I guess God made them for a reason, gay people." Blaine looked at Kurt, noticing how the words sounded strained. Kurt didn't believe in God, and he knew that gay people were okay. Blaine closed his eyes, trying to stop the anger that wanted to surge through him. He needed to help Kurt, and to come out. The words were about to be said, they were on the tip of his tongue.

But his father had another comment to make. Blaine watched Collins and Angel singing, 'I'll Cover You.' It's his favorite song in the whole show. He hums along, softly, feeling the vibrations in his chest. When he sings, Blaine can feel everything melting away. Humming doesn't do this as much as singing does, but it calms him enough. Though, when his father spoke, the humming did nothing to soothe the tension in him.

"People make mistakes right off by being gay. You can be gay, but if you can't upon it, it's a sin," Mr. Anderson points to Angel and Collins buying the coat, singing. They are oblivious to the comments being made about them. If only Blaine was so lucky to have that kind of privilege. He inwardly winced as his father talked, but on the outside, he grew paler. Kurt pretended not to notice, but his eyes grew stormy as Mr. Anderson continues. "There's a sin. I'm glad you and Kurt are probably dating sweet ladies, if there are any at Dalton. _No_ need to get caught up in that kind of crowd."

Blaine nodded, "Yeah, sure D-Dad." Kurt closed his eyes, and Blaine knew he was thinking to not tell his Dad. But, it was too late to go back. Blaine wished he asked to go home twenty miles before they arrived to this house, this cold house that wasn't warm. It was never warm.

"K-Kurt's dating Me-Mercedes Jones from McKinley." Blaine offers, before shooting Kurt a look that says, 'I'm so sorry, but I love you. Be glad I didn't say Rachel, by the way'. Kurt shoots and angry glare at Blaine, who just fixes his eyes on the screen, pretending to be completely enthralled by 'La Vie Boheme'. Kurt glances over to Mr. Anderson, who is looks at Kurt like he needs to say something about his fabulous black diva girlfriend. Well, Kurt thinks, looking at Blaine, here goes nothing.

"Y-yeah," Kurt stumbled, before thinking about the last time he had seen Mercedes. He grinned, because she was laughing the last time. Mercedes, when she laughed, as beautiful. The next words flowed freely, "She's talented, and gorgeous. Her family and mine are also in a gay pride support system." Kurt shoots a look at Blaine, nodding at him. Mr. Anderson nods politely. Blaine knows he doesn't fully support this, but Blaine also knows that he has to keep Kurt on his good side.

"I'd like to meet her." Mr. Anderson winked at Kurt, before continuing his thought, "Helping those who are confused, huh? It's nice of you, Kurt. Anyone you know who is gay?" Blaine winces, outwardly at the way his Dad said the word. Like it was poisonous, and that hurt him more than any bully would. It hurt Blaine so much; there wasn't a word to describe it. Kurt looked over at Blaine, who was clutching his stomach. Blaine felt like it was in knots, so many knots. Nothing could make him feel better. Then, Kurt had to bring it up.

"Actually, I really only know two at this point. I don't usually attend meeting. Actually, one goes to Dalton." Kurt shot Blaine a no turning back look. Blaine nodded, feeling bile rise in his throat. He swallowed, quickly. He was so nervous, so scared, so frikkin terrified of the outcome. All he could see was Drew's face looming over him, and it turned into his father's.

"Anyone I know, Blaine?" His father asked. Blaine wanted to say me, but all that came were other names, none of which started with the letter's 'B' and rhymed with 'lane'. Wes and David came to mind first – his two other best friends- and Blaine tried to sputter them out, but he stuttered too much to really be heard.

"W-W, I mean, Da-Dav... I need to use the restroom." Blaine runs, going to the restroom. He falls on his knees, heaving into the bowl. He texts Kurt 'Throwing up, I'm so nervous'. He can hear his father and Kurt exchange some words, though, he doesn't see the motions.

"Excuse me, sir, my father is calling me." Kurt texts Blaine directions to the restroom.

"Go ahead. I'll pause the film."

Blaine can hear Kurt's footsteps in his direction. He flushes the toilet, before curling himself into a ball, trying to become composed when Kurt comes in. But, it's no use, as Blaine feels tears pricking into his eyes. The door opens, and Blaine blinks them away, before looking up at Kurt.

"I can't Kurt." Blaine whispers, his throat dry and crackly. Kurt wraps his arms around him, rubbing Blaine's back. He made it so Blaine barely had any room to move, though Kurt highly doubted Blaine was trying to move at this point in time. Blaine pressed his head against Kurt's shoulder.

"Ssh, Blaine. This, I mean, it's a lot harder than I expected," Blaine laughed humorlessly at Kurt's statement. Kurt wiped away a few loose curls, before ongoing his solution to the situation, "But I know what we'll do. I'll-I'll tell him I'm gay first." Blaine looked up at Kurt, before shaking his head.

It would be suicide to let Kurt come out to his dad first, since Kurt was dating Mercedes. Or, that's what his Dad thought was happening. Blaine shook his head, before telling Kurt otherwise.

"No, I will tell him first." Blaine sung to Kurt, softly, "_With a thousand sweet kisses, I'll cover you." _Kurt giggled, before replying back, "Courage." They walked out together, and sat down. Kurt placed his hand over Blaine's, trying to comfort him ever so slightly. Mr. Anderson pushed play, 'Take Me or Leave Me' playing right now. Maureen was on her knees, looking up at JoAnne. Mr. Anderson's face was filled with disgust, but it fleeted quickly as he sees his son and friend sitting next to him.

"You okay?" Mr. Anderson asked Blaine. He nodded quickly, before letting his dad turn his attention to Kurt. "Who is this homosexuals at Dalton? Do I know him?" Kurt turned to Blaine, who was paling slightly, but his face remained readable. It read that he was going to say it, even if it killed him. Blaine knew it just might kill him, but that didn't matter right now. It only mattered that his father knew about his sexual orientation.

"Yeah, you do know him." Kurt looked over at Blaine, who swallowed, trying to clear his throat. Kurt squeezed Blaine's hand, reassuringly. "Pretty well, actually." Blaine nodded, taking a breath before exhaling it. Mr. Anderson noticed his son breathing in and out, and felt like something big was coming. He ignored the feeling though, before looking at Kurt.

Mr. Anderson pulled out a name, one Blaine had used very often, "Is it David?"

Blaine shot Kurt a look that said, 'I'm, telling him'. He cleared his throat, before looking straight into his father's eyes, their cold look giving him chills that ran up his arms. He didn't blink away, but his voice gave out. He stuttered, "No, Dad, it's actually... Um..." Blaine closed his eyes, regaining the courage he momentarily lost.

"Yes, son?" Mr. Anderson gave Blaine a look, and Blaine breathed one last time.

"I'm g-g-gay Dad. I'm the gay kid at Dalton." Blaine looked at his father's eyes, seeing an angry flash in them. Those hazel eyes were always angry, not warm and sweet like his. They were cold, and Blaine felt a slap to his face. He winced at the pain that shot through his left cheek. It wasn't going to bruise, he was sure of it, but he heard Kurt gasp audibly.

Blaine's dad hissed, "I don't appreciate lies in this household. I'm going to overlook this, but if you lie again, I am not keeping you in this house." Blaine shook his head, all those curls falling out of place, making him look crazy and scared, more than he was. Kurt watched, in frozen panic of the scene unraveling before him.

Blaine looks like he in near tears, but nods his head. Fury pushes Kurt to do the unthinkable, the unspoken rule he has already learned in this household: Never speak back to an adult.

Kurt changed the rule in his head: Never speak back to an adult if they have your respect. Mr. Anderson had lost this respect since he began to push around Blaine, and hurt his only son, and it seemed his only child. How could one not love his child? Kurt understood Blaine's jealousy at that moment.

"Mr. Anderson, while I honor your opinion just as I honor everyone else's, I think you should rethink your decision to kick him out of your house. I know firsthand how hard it is to be a gay teenager in the middle of Ohio," A pause was here. Mr. Anderson raised his eyes at Kurt, but let him continue. The small boy was red from wrath, "and I think you should offer your son a little more kindness. If you don't, as his boyfriend," Blaine felt his father grab his wrists, and Blaine gasped in pain. His grip was deadly. Kurt looked down, and continued, softer than he was saying before, "He is welcome at my house, but you would be doing Blaine no good having him forced away. He can't choose who he is, and neither can I." Those last few words, though spoken softly, were spat out with some form of anger. The grip on Blaine's wrists tightened, but Blaine kept a straight face.

"Blaine, you aren't a homosexual; don't let Kurt convince you otherwise." Blaine couldn't believe what he was hearing. His own father refused to love him. Blaine closed his eyes, pleading to someone who had already made up his mind to not listen.

"I am gay. I am a homosexual, just like Angel and Collins, and Peter and Jason, but I'm still _me_." Blaine stressed the last word, before feeling himself being pushed onto the floor. His back banged against the hardwood floor, and Blaine took it as a punishment for speaking back. Kurt looked at them, before helping Blaine up to his feet. Blaine reluctantly held Kurt's hand, before standing up.

"Never have I been more disappointed. I am not paying for your tuition anymore." Mr. Anderson noted. Blaine nodded, before looking at Kurt. Kurt stepped in front of Blaine, trying to protect him. A part of him knew that Mr. Anderson wouldn't hurt him, but nothing would stop him from damaging Blaine. Kurt felt responsible for this, pushing Blaine too far. Blaine knew this would happen, and yet he stayed silent through it all. Blaine looked up at Kurt, his eyes glassy, holding back tears.

"Sir, I beg you, find the part of you that has always loved your son..." Mr. Anderson turned away from the two boys, letting them take in his back. Blaine places a hand on Kurt's shoulder, telling him to dismiss it, whispering in his ear that they were going to Lima tonight, despite the time. It was a two hour drive, so they should arrive around one thirty in the morning. Blaine walked upstairs, his footsteps dragging and Kurt felt tired just hearing them. His eyes never left Mr. Anderson. When Blaine returned with the bags, Mr. Anderson spoke to them.

"You can never come back."

"Wasn't planning on it, _Michael._ Come along Kurt." Blaine walked out the door. Kurt followed along, shortly. It was hard to tear away his eyes from the man Blaine use to call a father. He followed Blaine for Blaine's sake alone. If it were up to him, Kurt would have smacked Mr. Anderson, before kissing Blaine.

But this was Blaine's fight. Kurt understood it, though he didn't accept it. When Kurt approached the car, he saw Blaine wiping away tears, furiously. Kurt cleared his throat, and he saw Blaine composing himself.

"Do you want to drive?" Blaine asked. Kurt nodded, his heart breaking at the sight of Blaine crying. Blaine didn't cry, and when he did it was silent. Blaine closed his eyes, before wiping away a stray tear. Kurt and Blaine silently get into the car, and buckle up. Kurt glances over at Blaine, who is staring at the window, letting silent tears stream down his face. It was terrible to watch him cry like this, but it was enthralling all the same. After all that, all Blaine could do was cry. Kurt knew he hide, but he didn't expect him to hide like this much. Kurt saw a small diner, and pulled into the parking lot.

"Shh…Blaine it's okay." Kurt soothed Blaine, or tried to. Blaine shook his head, recoiling at the touch.

"I feel like a failure. An utter, complete failure." Blaine closed his eyes, an exhausted look crossing his face. Kurt stroked Blaine cheek, those tears staining Kurt's finger. "Your Dad is for not seeing how truly amazing and beautiful you are." Blaine shook his head, letting Kurt caress him softly.

"I'm use to this." The words fall out of his mouth before he can stop them. Kurt's eyes well in tears.

"Oh Blaine I'm so sorry." Blaine starts to comfort Kurt, automatically. He didn't like being comforted. He liked giving the emotions that he was never given to others. It was a way to make sure no one saw how sad he was. So far, it was working.

"It's not your fault, sweet. Here, I'll drive." Blaine tried to get the steering wheel, but Kurt pushed him away, trying to make sure Blaine was okay before letting Blaine drive them to Lima. Despite his efforts, Blaine wasn't okay, nor was he convincing Kurt he was okay. Kurt looked over at Blaine, before talking once more.

"No, Blaine, it is my fault. I mean, who are we kidding? I kept pushing you to tell him, when deep down I know what would happen. The world is against us." Blaine shook his head, a ghost of a smile on his lips. Kurt looked over, as Blaine began to talk. His voice floated into Kurt, melting all the tension residing in him muscles.

"I needed to tell him. It's been seven years of knowing who I am. And we have Burt, Carol, Finn, Rachel, Sam, Quinn, Cedes, Wes, David, Puck, Artie, Britt, Santana, Mike, and Tina. They're there for us." Kurt looked at Blaine, knowing his words were true. Kurt rested his head on Blaine's shoulder, quickly, letting his brain soak up some information.

Blaine had known for seven years. And it was a secret from his family. Kurt couldn't believe it. He turned to Blaine, before speaking again.

"I'm okay. Here, we'll go to my house and tell my Dad... Everything." The look in Kurt's eyes made Blaine shiver. It said to tell him everything, down to every little detail. Blaine appeared sheepish as he asked Kurt a question.

"Can we omit some information? Like... How I got these bruises?" Blaine looked down, like he was embarrassed that something he couldn't control had made him so weak. Kurt stayed silent as Blaine rambled on. "I can't tell them that. Not yet."

Kurt nodded, completely understanding. Blaine made a motion to get the steering wheel, but Kurt swatted him away, "No, I'll drive." He said. Blaine let a worn-out look, but let Kurt drive anyway.

Closing his eyes, Blaine remembered why he told his Dad. Not for Kurt, not for Drew, and not for the sake of other's.

He told his Dad to let all this pain go. But, so many opportunities had struck him before. Why now?

Blaine still remembers the railing, the little space before the end. He still can hear the car pulling up. He still hears the clock ticking away at his time. He still remembers Drew, telling him to-

Blaine shivered, and Kurt looked over, still remaining silent. Kurt turned up the heat, before continuing. Blaine let all the old emotions mix in with the new ones, letting his chest fall and rise rapidly, before slowing down once more. Kurt tried to keep his eyes on the road, but Blaine's abnormal breathing patterns made it hard. After two hours of listening, Kurt shook Blaine awake. His eyes were out of focus at first, but soon Blaine had his eyes on Kurt.

"Blaine," Kurt said, "We're here."

* * *

**So f'in hard to write. No lie. This was just ack! I hope you all like the chapter though, seeing as it is a foundation for the rest of the story. Anyways, sorry it took so long of an update! We haven't had the most freee time lately. Hopefully, it won't take as long for the rest! So dark, so very dark...But, all you fluff lovers, there are some really fluffy cute little 'D'AWW' moments in chapters to come! I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! Like we've said, constructive critism is always welcome in our little ficlet home^^ **

**-Madi and Brenna**


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